This Is It...

Wow...its been almost a month since I last updated this blog...amid some mess in my life and an Internet line with a mind of its own, I neglected to update this blog...haha...

Yup, I've felt troubled lately, I dont know why...well actually, I think I do, but Im not so sure...somehow I've reached this point in life that I feel that I have to let go of somethings to let some new things in...I feel like I dont have enough time to do the things I wanna do, yet went in reality Im just lazing around doing some stupid things that I feel fun doing and it amounts to nothing... and I feel like grumbling and complaining a lot lately, mostly to myself, wondering how I can make myself better, look for a better future, a better...erm...something...looking back towards my 18 years of life, I feel that its a wasted 18 years, there's nothing I did that was gonna last, that helped others in some certain ways...somehow, I just feel...useless...yup, thats the word...useless...like my life is just a piece of crumpled blank paper with nothing written on it ready to be thrown away....

Wow...now I feel a lot better...phew...

Im still considering whether to continue writing this blog or to start another new blog, mainly due to the pestering bots that are bombarding my comments, and also whether I actually have time to maintain a blog with a purpose instead of my grumblings...I guessing this blog will stay as my grumbling ground, but I will open up another blog for a different purpose....hehe